Canada Goose Parka and confronting the circle of life
Isla and I had a sleepover at canada goose clearance sale my parents last night. I offered my sister a tiny reprieve at bedtime and helped my father to bed. My father has Alzheimer’s and my sister has put her life on hold to be a live in cheap canada goose uk caregiver. She saving our Canada Goose Outlet lives. She given up hers to do it.
I found him standing next to his bed, fully dressed, looking as if he didn remember what he was doing there. When canada goose factory sale he saw me come in, he remembered. “Are you here to put me to bed? buy canada goose jacket Wowee, I’m a lucky guy.”
canada goose deals “First we need to get your shoes off,” I said. He sat uk canada goose on the edge of his high mattress and presented me with one foot at a time, all the while telling me what an angel I Canada Goose Coats On Sale was. Getting his socks off was a struggle. I worried I was going to pull him right off the side of the bed.
canada goose coats on sale When I got both socks off he said, “You’re a Godsend, Betty. I love you.”
Canada Goose Outlet My dad calls me Betty canada goose clearance sometimes because that was his oldest sister’s name and I’m named after her: Elizabeth. We lost Aunt Betty to Alzheimer several years ago.
“You’re full of it, Dad,” I said. “I’m not a Godsend, I was a mistake Canada Goose Online and you canada goose uk outlet know it. But I bet you are thankful, right about now, you had me.”
canadian goose jacket “What do you mean a mistake?” Canada Goose Jackets he said.
“I came five years after all your other children, and mom was 42 when she had me. You can’t try to tell me you were counting on my arrival.”
canada goose clearance “Is that true?” he said, as if he had no recollection of how it all went down. He laughed. Then he told me, again, he loved me. I made him stand up canada goose coats on sale and take off his pants so he could put on his pajamas. He struggled with the button of his corduroys. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to help him with that because of his habit of making jokes that are totally inappropriate between father and daughter. He has never had a reliable verbal censor, my dad. And it’s grown even buy canada goose jacket cheap weaker with cognitive impairment, so you never know what sort of shocking and tactless thing might come out of his mouth at any moment. My poor mother. She so proper. He so not proper.
Canada Goose sale He got his pants off and put on his pajama pants by himself. “Now we’ve got to get your sweater off,” I said. “Put your arms up, Dad.” He put his arms up, but mostly out. “Up,” I said. “Not out.”
“That’s as far as they go,” he said. I canadian goose jacket tried to tease his sweater over his still broad shoulders shoulders I used to ride on as a little girl couldn get it over his head. The memory of trying to get a toddler into, or out of, clothes canada goose uk black friday without inciting a claustrophobic panic floated through my mind. I took canada goose sale a different approach and managed to get his arms out of the sleeves first. Then he could pull the sweater over his head on his own.
He sat down then, as if he was all done. forget your pajama top, I said.
“I can sleep in this shirt,” he said.
canada goose black friday sale you can’t, I told him, thinking of the endless arguments I once had with Isla and Esther about why we don’t sleep in our daytime clothes.
canada goose can I? he said. “Your wife will come find you and think you just passed out drunk up here,” I explained.
buy canada goose jacket cheap “A drunk old bastard, he said. as a skunk.”
I unbuttoned his shirt, and helped him into his pajama top.
buy canada goose jacket “I love you,” he said as I buttoned his buttons. “I love all of you.”
canada goose store “I know you do, Dad,” I said. “Thank you for loving us.”
He told me he felt great having me there. Told me he loved my dog, Birdie, and my daughters Esther and Isla. Told me how lucky Canada Goose Parka he was to have us. The man is gushing, emanating gratitude and love. This is not the man who raised me. The man who raised me was tempestuous, impatient, worried about everything. The man who raised me showed me how to be frustrated by every seeming imperfection, most often found in oneself.
This man here in his pajamas is my father, declawed. This is my father stripped of just about everything he once was and once worried about, and left with nothing but the here and now. And love.
Canada Goose online I helped him into bed, and adjusted his pillow. I kissed him on the forehead and rubbed his shoulders for a few seconds.
Canada Goose Jackets “This is nice” he said. “This is real nice.”
cheap Canada Goose I turned out the light. On the way down the stairs, I heard him singing to himself. Just like a child.
My dad also suffers from Alzheimer and while he can still care for himself there are already major changes. It drives my mom crazy as it is every day stuff but sometime you just have to laugh. He has canada goose store been bald Canada Goose sale with the horseshoe of hair around the outside my whole life. He recently blamed my mom for shaving the top off and won let https://www.alifeoutofdebt.com her cut the small wispy hairs that uk canada goose outlet grow up there.
It is hard to enjoy these moments sometimes as the roles cheap Canada Goose change but the closeness of being together helps. This is very beautifully written Canada Goose online and I can feel all the love that is canada goose shared.
canada goose clearance sale God bless you and your entire family. Hug your sister and tell canada goose coats her you every day. Give her a break whenever you can. You wrote, saving our canada goose black friday sale lives. She’s given up hers to do it. Yep. That sums it up nicely.
I was the canada goose uk shop primary care giver for my 90 year old mother in law who had advanced dementia. She died last week ending the hardest two years of my life far. It was worth it. As hard as it was and as much as I complained about it, I know that I did the right thing and so I have no regrets. None.